amorettea: (Default)
[personal profile] amorettea
I have been feeling the Black Slog creeping up on me all summer. I keep having this strange tight feeling in chest that makes me cough. Before I gave it up to stress, I thought I'd go the physical route.
One chest x-ray and one CAT scan and one ultrasound and one needle aspiration and $4000 later, I know I don't have lung cancer or thyroid cancer but the tightness in my chest is worse and I want to crawl into bed and never get out.
Combined with what I call my paranoid hypochondria--my obsession with whatever diseases are going around and they are, including a nasty cold, a really nasty barfing bug and what looks like a long, sick winter, I decided maybe I should see a therapist.
Then the election returns came in.
I start seeing her on Tuesday. I hope she can help because my chest is constantly tight and while I don't think about actively killing myself, not waking up one morning is appealing.
I am forcing myself to have two Christmas parties this year. May not help with the stress (cough cough) but may force me to function.
And we are due for single digit cold starting Monday.
Aren't I a bowl full of cheery.
Sigh.

Date: 2014-11-08 05:18 pm (UTC)
auctasinistra: (Default)
From: [personal profile] auctasinistra
This is cliched and tired and all, but try to stay positive and take care of yourself. Think of this as an illness that will get taken care of. Do NOT assume the worst until you KNOW it's the worst.

I know whereof I speak: I went through a very serious medical thing 18 months ago (well, in terms of followup I'm still going through it, and in terms of worry I'll be going through it 'til I die, which I hope will be decades from now). I'm a worrier and tend toward the negative, so I understand, but I had to tell myself "Well, you've panicked and nearly shat yourself in terror. And you're still here. So you can crawl under a bed so the rest of your life, however long or short, is wasted, or you can (frankly) live in denial [I believe in denial - I think it's phony to call it a positive attitude in my personal case, but some people look at it that way :-)] and try to enjoy the time you have each day." It worked for me. I don't assume it will for you, but I hope you can try. You have my best wishes and good thoughts that this is something treatable that you will recover from. And it probably is - remind yourself of that, too - statistics are in your favor!

And get second opinions. Be proactive in your medical care.


But you know all this. My thoughts are with you.

Date: 2014-11-08 07:33 pm (UTC)
auctasinistra: (Default)
From: [personal profile] auctasinistra
:-) Take it in small chunks. At least, that helped for me.

I don't mean to sound lecturing - I'm sure you're aware of all this stuff. I just want to encourage you.

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